The Strength of Politeness and Patience


Sometimes in life, we face situations where we have done something, or we have given a lot of help, but another person, while praising himself in front of everyone, says, “I have done this and that. If I had not done this, then this would not have happened,” and so on. He barely mentions our support, and even if he does, he does it in such a way that he still wants to take all the credit for the work himself. Instead of appreciating our efforts or offering support, he points out only the mistakes in our work.

We then become frustrated by his wrongdoing. We feel that, at the very least, we should be able to describe our own contribution correctly, even if not in great detail, and teach this person a lesson. Is this self-condemnation? Will this also be counted as ego? How do we resolve the thought that arises in our mind: “This person is trying to pull us down and elevate himself”?

Solution

 

If we throw something into the ocean, it may appear to sink down from the surface due to the force of that moment, but it will not remain permanently at the ocean floor; it will resurface after a short while. In the same way, one who is humble and light—light in the sense of not being burdened by praise or blame—does not become disturbed when someone tries to put him down. Even if, from someone’s words, it seems that the speaker did more work and that the other person (the humble one) contributed very little, how long will such false talk influence people?

Eventually, people will understand that this person is self-praising and so full of envy that he cannot appreciate the help of others. They will also come to see that the other person gave so much support and yet, despite not being appreciated, did not feel hurt but remained humble. This becomes the reason for his true respect and reverence.

 


Apart from this, if someone who boasts gains even a little happiness by praising himself, or if by putting us down he feels pleased with his behavior for a short time, what do we really lose? To make others happy is, in a way, an act of charity. So we can understand it as: we have just given charity. Sooner or later, the reality of the situation will become clear; why be in a hurry or in fear?

We should not abandon our highest virtue of humility because of another person’s weakness. By sacrificing the desire for recognition and remaining content in the inner happiness of the soul, while cultivating an attitude of service, qualities such as humility, tolerance, cheerfulness, and other positive values will develop within us—and we will be the ones who truly benefit from them.


 

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